HOPE OVERFLOWING

stories of grace, hope and life beyond cancer


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Why telling your story is so important

Friendship Together Bonding Unity Youth Culture Concept

I started this blog almost 5 years ago in the middle of the night whilst mid-chemotherapy and on a steroid induced high. Nobody told me not to take the steroids in the evening so wakeful nights were a feature of this phase of my life (although to be honest I am writing this late at night too, on my phone, because I have these thoughts pinging about in my head that need to be verbalised before sleep will come… I guess some things don’t change).

People sometimes ask me why I started blogging and for me the answer multi-faceted. I started blogging because I felt like I had to – I had something burning in my heart that needed to come out. I needed to be heard. I needed to wave my hand and say, “Hey! It’s me! I know all you see is a cancer patient at the lowest point of her life but that’s not all there is to me. I have something to give too even if it’s small.” I started blogging because I knew I needed to share stories of hope and grace because there is a lot of scary stuff out there on the internet when you are living the cancer story.

I started blogging because I wanted to tell a different story. I wanted to tell my story of pain and grief but also my story of hope and perseverance. I wanted to tell the story of what it is to be struck down but not destroyed because even in one’s darkest moments pain is not all there is to life and blessing is still there to be found.

So although that’s why I started, why I kept going with it (albeit in a much more stop-start way than I would ideally have liked) is because of the impacts that telling my story has had both on me and on others.

I think one of the things that I have found most wonderful and surprising about writing this blog is just how healing it has been to me. I am a list person, I always have been. When I have a lot going on I always make lists and I take great delight in crossing off the done items (I even always like to add one or two things that I’ve already done and cross them off immediately so as not to miss any of my accomplishments! Ha!) I find writing lists incredibly useful because they help me to get perspective about what is happening and what needs to be done. They help me to break things up into bite-sized chunks and to remember what needs doing and they help me not to get completely overwhelmed by life.

For me, writing this blog has fulfilled a similar purpose. It has helped me take a step back from the madness of day-to-day life and take stock. It has helped me to think about what things are overwhelming me and what things I am thankful for. It has helped me to really look for the hand of God in my life each step of the way and it has been hugely instrumental in helping me to process the trauma of cancer and in putting my broken little heart back together again.

One of the other amazing things that has come out of writing this little blog in this little corner of the internet is that as I have told my story it has connected me to others in the most wonderful way. When we tell our stories, when we are vulnerable, it can be costly. We open ourselves up to negative and judgemental comments or even if we don’t have any of those we open ourselves up to self-doubt and huge feelings of inadequacy (darn you WordPress statistics!) But, the flip-side is, by being vulnerable, by telling our stories of struggle, we also open ourselves up to community and connection. As we are vulnerable with our stories we give others permission to be vulnerable with theirs and that can create some beautiful community. As we tell our stories, no matter how normal or unremarkable we think they are, we can help to give a voice to others who may be grappling with their own stories or who may be having difficulty articulating what’s going on in their own life. As we share our stories we open the door for others to say, “Yes! Me too!”

And to me that is a beautiful thing and that is worth the cost and the inevitable vulnerability hangover that comes after sharing something that matters to us. So keep telling your stories folks. Whether it’s in a blog, a vlog or with friends over a coffee – whatever works for you. By showing who you really are you are offering a wonderful gift to those around you and that is definitely worth doing!

 

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The October Yay Mail! Project

Yesterday on a trip into town, whilst in my favourite art supply shop I saw a book of blank watercolour card postcards on the shelf. The front of each postcard is blank ready for painty creativity to be unleashed all over it and the back is laid out like the back of a standard postcard. I couldn’t resist and so without a second thought popped them in my basket.
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As soon as I bought them I started thinking about what I could paint on them and about all the possible people I could send them to and I got excited at the prospect of sending all this lovely post. I love to receive nice post! It is always such a joy to receive a little card or postcard or note and even if the message is simple it always makes me feel loved and valued that someone was thinking of me enough to bother to post me something. I wanted these postcards to make other people feel how I feel when I get special post.

As I was thinking about this I had this thought, “What if I sent someone a little bit of nice post each day for a month?” I think it would bless others but also would be a brilliant opportunity to think of others and seek to encourage someone every day, which would be a blessing to me as well. As I thought more about this I got excited – this sounded like a fun project to me!

I decided I would send a card or a postcard or maybe a very small gift to a different person each day with a positive message of encouragement for a month and as October is starting next week, I would do this for the month of October.

As I thought about this a bit more I wondered whether anyone else might also like to send nice post every day for a month and so the idea of the “October Yay Mail!” project was born.

I told Joel about my idea and he said it sounded like fun and that he was in too. Yay! Two of us!

So Joel and I will be sending nice post every day in October. But, I thought there might be others that might like to join is so I wanted to invite any of you who fancied joining us to do so! It’s going to be a fun project and I think will be such a fun way to bless and encourage those around us.

In order to participate, here’s what you need to do:
Post (hand post is fine) something nice, like a card, postcard or letter with a kind and encouraging message to a different person each day for the month of October.

That’s it! Very simple!

You can send your post to anyone but if you’re stuck for ideas I’ve thought of a few categories of people that you might like to surprise:
–          Someone you haven’t spoken to in more than one year
–          Someone from your childhood
–          Someone who lives in another country
–          Someone with whom you have a tricky relationship
–          A member of your extended family
–          Someone who played a significant role in your life at a formative time
–          Someone that you know is going through a tough time at the moment
–          Someone that you wish you saw more often
–          A neighbour
–          An ex-colleague

Perhaps try and send one to each of these if you can and see what happens.

There’s a week before October starts so maybe have a go at making a little list of who you might like to send some Yay Mail! to and start getting their addresses together.

If you want to get involved on social media I would love to hear how it’s going. If you have any stories from the project that you’d like to share please do drop me an email, comment on the blog, on the Facebook page or use the hashtag #Octoberyaymail.

I am so excited to tell 31 people how loved and valued they are, to encourage them in their every day and to give them some mail to say “Yay!” about and I hope you will join me too!


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There is always room at the table

Last week was my birthday! I turned 33. Woo hoo!! The day was mostly spent at home in quarantine as my big boy had chickenpox which we had only discovered the previous afternoon via a high fever and lone spot behind his right ear (in spite of him complaining in the morning that he had a bump on his back, which I informed him was just his spine and packed him off to nursery – oops!)

One of my birthday gifts from my sister and brother-in-law was a voucher to a local art supply shop. I was so thrilled to receive it and in the afternoon of my birthday my mum looked after the boys for a few hours so Joel and I could head into Kingston to run a few errands and of course to go and spend my art shop vouchers!!

I browsed and browsed for ages and finally settled on some watercolour brush pens (with a cartridge you fill with water and then use with paints), a set of 6 fine liners and a pad of watercolour paper.

As soon as I returned home I had buyer’s remorse about the watercolour brush pens. Were they actually any good or just an expensive gimmick? Surely a paintbrush would be as good? Should I just take them back and get something else?

The next day, I decided to give them a try and boy was I wrong! They are brilliant! I absolutely love them and I have been sitting at the dining room table doodling whatever pithy (or indeed not so pithy) quotes I can think of for the past week. What a joy!

This week as I was spending some quiet time alone I was reading a Bible story about a great banquet. After I read this story the phrase “there is always room at the table” came into my mind and so I doodled it (with one of my new fine liner pens!) in my journal.

As the week has passed and I have found myself sitting at my dining table, this phrase keeps coming into my mind… ‘there is ALWAYS room at the table’ and I have doodled it with my watercolour brush pens over and over thinking about its meaning.

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Last year I bought a 12 seater dining room table on a Facebook buying site for £10. It was the bargain of the year for me and even though it was in a pretty bad way I was so pleased with it. Over a weekend I sanded it, made a stencil then painstakingly stencilled a herringbone pattern onto it, stained it and varnished it and after it was complete I was absolutely over the moon with the results.

My table has a sort of uneven patina (as a result of the damage to the wood before I started) that I absolutely love. I love the herringbone pattern and how it looks like an inlay even though it is just paint. But most of all I love the size of the table. It is big! It can comfortably seat 12 although we have squeezed 14 round it once! The size is so wonderful because I love doing life with people around the table. There is something special about sharing a meal with others and I love welcoming people into my home. The size means that there is pretty much ALWAYS room at my table.

This got me thinking that even though practically this is the case I hope that people know that there is really ALWAYS room for them at my table. I want my table and my home to always be marked by love for others no matter who they are, by an open door and a warm welcome, and real life shared around the table. And I want my table to be a symbol for how there is ALWAYS room for us at God’s table, no matter who we are, whether we think we are worthy or not, he welcomes us in just as we are. He longs to do life with us and hang out round his table and that is a truly amazing thing.

Come and visit me sometime! I’d love to show you my dining room table and do life with you round it. There is always room.