stories of grace, hope and life beyond cancer


Life in a waiting room

I seem to spend a lot of my time sitting in hospital waiting rooms these days (all I can say is thank goodness for the iPad and its games to while away the hours). Waiting rooms are funny places, no one wants to be there but no one has a choice. Life is on hold and yet life can change completely from when you walk into the waiting room to when you walk out.

I will never forget the day my cancer was diagnosed. We were on holiday in South Africa for my lovely sister’s wedding. The day of my diagnosis was sunny and warm and I waved Joel off as he was spending the day sightseeing with his Mum who was also visiting for the wedding. We thought I was just having some more routine tests. When he came to fetch me from the hospital later that afternoon everything had changed and our lives would never be the same again.

And so my treatment began as did the waiting… Waiting for tests… Waiting to see how I would respond to treatment… Waiting for me to recover from each bout of chemo… In a few weeks, waiting for the surgery etc etc… And hopefully waiting for the day when I will be given the all clear…

This waiting game is difficult in a culture where everything is instant and just waiting for a website to upload can be a frustrating experience.

So where does waiting fit into the whole picture? Where is God in my waiting?

One of my favourite Psalms is Psalm 40, the scripture we chose for our wedding. Psalm 40:1-3 says…

1 I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

3 He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

And this is a truth I can stand on. God is with me as I wait. He hears my cry and he sets my feet on the rock. Even when I feel I am sinking, He is there. I am slowly learning not to be afraid to wait. I am learning to keep moving forward but when that even seems impossible just to stand firm and to wait for Him. And through this all I trust that He is doing a new thing in me and I look forward to the new song I know He will give me.